Children-in-Law in Family-Run Companies: Caught Between Discontent and Frustration

In family-run companies, children-in-law – sons- and daughters-in-law – often feel excluded and frustrated: a real “relational syndrome” which is often underestimated even if it can have significant consequences in a company’s organisation and success.

The phenomenon was originally described in a survey published on the European Journal of Family Business, which examined the condition of 158 sons- and daughters-in-law working in an equal number of small- and medium-sized family-run companies. The results show that the husbands and wives of the owners’ daughters and sons often feel marginalised and not fully considered as part of the family. A circumstance that particularly damages men (therefore, the sons-in-law) who complain about the lack of recognition and the poor career opportunities.

“The status of children-in-law within the family-run businesses is often uncertain and ambiguous and this may cause dynamics which lead to a progressive marginalisation of their role”, explains Filippo Ferrari – professor at the Department of Management at the University of Bologna – who conducted the survey. “To fight this phenomenon, it is important to create an inclusive environment where the decisions (made) and the choices (taken) within the companies appear structured and transparent, in order to limit uncertainties and reasons for resentment”.

Although the phenomenon is little known and studied, it has a national relevance: in Italy, sons- and daughters-in-law are estimated to be employed in 30% of the small- and medium-sized family-run businesses. In these cases of “entrepreneurial families” – in which relations of blood and marriage are pivotal to the management and the division of activities – the role of children-in-law is uncertain both psychologically and legally.

“The presence of sons- and daughters-in-law in the family-run companies often causes ambiguous attitudes among the company’s owners because their role is often perceived as potentially temporary and risky”, Ferrari says. “This leads the children-in-law employed in the company to feel marginalised or completely excluded from the context of the ‘entrepreneurial family’, with negative effects on both emotional atmosphere and working results”.

Starting from 158 instances in the small- and medium-sized Italian family-run companies, the survey revealed the five interrelated factors that occur in these cases. First of all, sons- and daughters-in-law display a sense of injustice directed at them from both parents-in-law and siblings-in-law who work in the company. Secondly, they perceive a feeling of uncertainty in relation to their identity of sons- or daughters-in-law, frustration for the few career opportunities, and consequently they develop the intention to quit.

“This tension produces a downward spiral where the uncertainty about one’s own role within the entrepreneurial family increases the feeling of marginalisation and the frustration towards one’s position”, Ferrari says. “Therefore, this leads to a reduced commitment inside the business and a growing push towards the resignation”.

To overcome this dynamic – which can damage both family relationships and working environment – it is advisable to implement transparent decision-making processes and to pay attention to the possible signs of discontent from the children-in-law.

“First of all, it is important to clearly establish the methods of involvement in company decisions, including the right to vote and succession criteria, in order to reduce potential resentment and the perception of favouritism”, Ferrari affirms. “Besides, the owners should actively involve the sons- and daughters-in-law employed in the company and clearly communicate career expectations and prospects, to reduce possible tension”.

The survey was published on the European Journal of Family Business under the title “Children-in-law and Conflictual Dynamics in the Business Family”. The author is Filippo Ferrari, professor at the Department of Management of the University of Bologna.